... Anyone who says differently is selling something."-Wesley, The Princess Bride
I'm working on a research paper for my Medical Sociology class about pain, and the social factors involved. I've noticed that when a little boy or a little girl gets hurt, they're treated differently. To the boy, the parents or teachers may say: "Come on, don't cry. Big boys don't cry", and encourage a "macho", tough attitude. However, the girls get comforted and/or held, and hear a very different message: "It's okay to cry". Also noticing that men and women seem to have a different pain tolerance as adults, I've wondered how much of that is due to the socialization of pain as children(especially), and all throughout life.
Not only with pain, but with many emotions, boys are expected to hide them, whereas girls are allowed or even expected to openly show their feelings. A boy that encroaches upon the line may be thought to be a "fruitcake". Girls don't seem to be judged as much... in fact, the "tom-boy" girls are admired, at least by other girls who are frustrated with their own emotions.
Isn't culture amazing? It's been so exciting to see it become more prevalent through research and lectures. If I don't get this paper done by Thursday, however, I might break down in tears... as is acceptable for my gender role. :D
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2 comments:
I agree with you, Diane. A lot of people believe that women generally feel more complex emotions than men or that they are more aware of their emotions. Really, it's that men and women (at least in the U.S.) are cultured to behave differently.
Because of it, men have to find round about ways to express affection and pain; some are constructive, but many are destructive, and I feel really bad for men who struggle because of this.
I'm glad I was raised by parents who allowed me to express my emotions, though it makes me kind of weird sometimes.
This is why emos are so persecuted--they don't fit the archetype of North American male behavior. Also those pants.
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