Friday, November 21, 2008

A Disturbing Mystery

How do people get this far in life not understanding the differences and correct usages of your and you're, along with there, their and they're?????????????????????

Darwin's "survival of the fittest" has no merit here. People are born, grow up, go to college, get jobs, get old and die, never understanding grammar.

It chills me to the bone. Is this one of you're pet peeves?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

"I love you two bits."

"Wow! How much is that?"-Diane
"A whole lot."-John

Can I just tell you that I have the coolest job ever? I go over to John's house every day to talk, do puzzles, play chess, do math problems, push-ups, read picture or choose-your-own-adventure books, and get plenty of hi-fives and laughs. John has such a good perspective about life. He has really influenced me to do some thinking about what is really important. It's so great to feel like I'm making a difference in his life, and he is definitely changing mine.

"We have so much in common!" -J :)

Friday, November 14, 2008

"Are you happy in your heart?" -Mary Lund

Once upon a time, Diane wanted to be a heart surgeon.

Although it was an extremely ambitious idea, I was interested in the medical field, details, and healing hearts. But as the reality of the cost, competition, amount of schooling ahead, and lack of interest in chemistry or any of the hard sciences became apparent, I drifted away and altered my dreams.

There are things that you could say to describe me. People have said that I am friendly, thoughtful, silly, and impulsive. But I doubt you would say "Go-getter".

Being the youngest (at least for 12 years) in my family taught me to be very dependent. I looked to my siblings' examples in everything. They seemed to be successful, so instead of exploring things for my own, I attended the same schools, took the same classes, had the same types of friends, was involved in the same extracurricular activities, and carefully hopped from footprint to footprint, failing to make my own impression in the snow. It was too risky, too uncertain, too dangerous. Because my siblings were involved in good things, I was happy in my mimicking, and enjoyed my experiences. But especially as I made the decision to come to BYU, a school where my parents and all of my siblings had gone, I began to long for something more. I wanted to do things for personal reasons, so I could be sure that I wasn't just trying to please other people, but that I could someday look back and say, "I spent so much time, effort, and money here, because I truly wanted to learn at BYU."

I see this pattern over and over again. I have so many desires: to get out of Utah Valley and gain a broader understanding of the world around me. To maybe even leave the country and get my feet wet in order to feel the full intensity of the culture shock. To grow up. But I find myself continuing in what is comfortable and letting these opportunities pass without much more than the thought, "Oh, I should've gone to that informational meeting!" or "I should really research those websites and see what that would involve... sometime." Am I lazy? Am I afraid? I think a little of both. So many times as I am feeling lost, I just wish someone would take my hand and guide me through every step to ensure that I can catch one of these trains before they all leave me, standing alone at an empty station.

I still want to heal hearts. It may be symbolic rather than literal. I want to be the kind of person that others can come to, and I can truly help them as they struggle with transitions. Whether it be the difficulty that comes with becoming an adult, or a divorce and the traumatic effects on the couple and the family. These feelings of frustration and prolonged uncertainty nag at me every day. If, someday, when I figure it all out, I can take someone else's hand, and sincerely guide them until they feel that they can do it on their own, I know I will have made a significant difference.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


This morning when I looked outside, I couldn't help singing "Snow" from "White Christmas". The flurries have inspired a spark of creativity. Or at least I thought of how to turn my recent thoughts into a blog post.

After I voted yesterday, my 8 year old (and apparently politically-minded) brother John E. asked me "Who'd you vote for?" about 10 times. After being ignored, he proceeded to tell me "If we could vote, everyone in my class would vote for McCain. Except Melanie. She'd vote for Obama." and then "Preston says that no matter what, he doesn't want a Democrat for President. I don't want one either." This made me laugh and roll my eyes a little. I remember being that age, growing up in Utah Valley and stubbornly believing that Democrats were the enemy, and must be blood sucking, baby killing, stealing, cheating, cannibals or something. Ha! Let's just say I grew up a little bit.

I don't affiliate myself with any party... yet. I'm pleased with the results of the election. And if McCain had won, I would've been pleased as well. Of course there are instances of corruption and false promises similar to those from High School elections (I never saw any Mountain Dew coming from those drinking fountains!), and there are things that bothered me about both candidates. Of course they told us what we want to hear, and it's likely that we'll experience some disappointment. But I thought that was a given. Have some hope, people! America is made up of Americans. It's our responsibility to keep the country from falling apart and to accomplish the things that we want to see done.

And Proposition 8 passed! It was interesting to watch my opinion change concerning the issue. At first I was leaning toward saying "No" to the prop., thinking that it intruded on the agency of others who happen to have different views and morals than I do, and also thinking that it didn't really affect me personally. But thanks to some blogs and words from the church, I got a glimpse of what would happen if the proposition didn't pass, and how much it really does affect me. What a turn-around! There is so much truth in this statement: "...marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and ...the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

I enjoy talking politics because, although I don't know much, I love to hear the arguments and be involved in learning more about unfamiliar views. The more I learn, the more I hunger for intelligent discussion. I ditto Robyn's thoughts that she shared in her blog last night.

The End... for now.