Today was St. Patty's Day! It was really fun to see Campus crawling with green. I wore a little badge all day that said "Kiss me, I like kissing", but, as usual, no one took me seriously. I guess I should've had one or two more badges clarifying, "No, really" or "Come, on. It's St. Patrick's Day! Share the love!" I got one stage kiss, and a good friend of mine complied to kiss me on the cheek. But no special moments or facemasking. Sigh.
This is all fun and games, but on a more serious note, I feel like it's a little bit revealing of my love life lately (did you like that alliteration?). I've had some good and some bad experiences dating in the past, but mostly I have a "let's go for it" kind of attitude. If there's a person that I'm attracted to, who is happy, uplifting, and has attributes that would rub off on me and make me a better person, I don't understand why we couldn't date. I have a lot to learn, but in the meantime I think I have a lot of traits that could benefit others. I like getting to know another person well enough to know how they would act or what they would say or even what they would think in any situation. I like finding out someone's deepest fears or what makes them most happy in all the world. I love serving someone in little ways that would keep them smiling all day long. I love the feeling of loving someone. But just like the badge, no one takes me seriously. They flirt, they laugh, they value my friendship, and then they refuse to let me come to love them.
Wow. This is a really revealing blog. I guess I just felt like venting a frustration I've had. And now I make the choice of pressing "Publish Post", or deleting the whole thing. And I flipped a coin... and here it is.
4 comments:
I think you have exactly the right attitude. Some people really take dating way too seriously. When it comes down to it though, you are going to have to go through several people before you find one that fits. Might as well start where you are right?
I think you will find a great guy, cause you are a great girl.
I think you have one of the best personalities. I've only started getting to know you now for a week or so, but you have already impressed me with your friendliness and loving nature.
You know, being honest and open like this on a blog does feel risky, but these are the kinds of posts that move people. I mean, this touched me when I first read it last week, and it touched me again just now when I re-read it. Purely cerebral posts can't do that. Raw is better. (At least I think it's better. :))
A few thoughts I've been having. Writing them down is probably just my way of working them out in my own mind.
I'm realizing that really getting to know and love someone isn't easy. It takes committment - usually more than is comfortable at first, at least for me. It's risky to get close to other people, because you're letting them see what you're really like without knowing beforehand how it will turn out.
With that said, a girl like you is bound to find a great man who will be more than happy to really know you and share himself.
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