Thursday, May 15, 2008

Drowning in Dreamland

What a strange morning! I wanted to wake up at 7:30, just to get on a better schedule and get things accomplished. Instead, I woke up at 7ish because Sarah was having car trouble. I went out to help her in the epitome of frumpiness: pjs, laughable morning hair, and my style-less glasses that I've had for about 8 years, but rarely wear in public. It was early enough that I didn't worry too much about who might see me. I got back around 7:10 and then had the choice: to stay awake and start my productive day, or sleep away those 20 minutes I had promised myself. Knowing me or maybe just human nature in general, it was the fastest decision I've ever made, and pretty soon I was sighing with comfort while engulfed in the sea of warm, comfy sheets, pillows and blankets. After what seemed like 20 seconds, I flirted with the snooze button a while, and presently turned the alarm off altogether.

Often my dreams are really weird but make perfect sense to me when I'm having them, but these were just strange. In the first one I was in danger, like in a battle or something and soon everyone I recognized was gone. I knew I was sleeping, and the only thing I could think of that would save my life is if I were to wake up. So I tried, and tried, and did!... except I "woke up" in an unfamiliar bed and room and soon realized I was still dreaming. I asked people in my dream about advice for making yourself wake up, although they convinced me that I was awake. The love interest was a boy that I haven't seen since High School but haven't spoken to since 6th gradeish and... that was weird too. I was on my driveway, just turning around and around, and each time I looked at the houses in my neighborhood, they changed. They resembled the houses there at first, but soon gained different characteristics like gargoyles and towers, and I was sure I was sleeping even though everyone was trying to convince me that I wasn't. Finally I did the only thing that really made sense to me, which was to call my sister and ask her to please wake me up. I pushed 3 and held it down (she's on speed dial) and she did wake me up! But again, I wasn't in my bed, and she was wearing a pink formal dress. Her reason for being dressed that way was perfectly logical, and she wouldn't listen when I stubbornly insisted that I was still asleep but needed to wake up to start my day. In all of these dreams I was wearing those good ol' glasses, and had no access to my contacts, which I think signifies the frustration of being perceived differently from who I feel I really am.

I don't know how I finally woke up. I took a deep breath of real air and swung my feet off the bed to feel the solid ground beneath my feet and appreciate my agency, and the reality that I am not a victim.

3 comments:

Barney Lund said...

Whoa-hoa-hoa (mostly aspiration).

Anonymous said...

I'm flattered that you were dreaming about me!

Nae said...

Gracious, Diane...I'm feeling the power! That must've been an intense little sequence there. What time did you actually wake up?