I like making new friends. But what I don't like is all the predictable questions that always come when you first meet someone. It almost always goes something like this:
D: "Hi, I'm Diane! What's your name?"
F: "Fredrico. Sorry... was that Diane, or Diana?"
D: "Without the "uh" at the end."
Without fail. It doesn't matter how clearly I say it, everyone seems to think that I must've made a mistake and I actually meant Diana.
F: "So... what's your major?"
D: "Sociology"
F: "Oh....
A) What are you going to do with that?" (assuming I know what I'm gonna do with it. Gosh. Eyeroll.)
B) So can you analyze me right now?" (assuming by Sociology I meant Psychiatry)
C) What's that?"
Maybe I should change my major to Nursing or something. Nobody asks a Nursing major, "What are you going to do with that?"
F: "Where are you from?"
D: "Orem."
F: "Ah... you're pretty far from home!" (smug smile that clearly means "You don't know anything about the real world, do you?")
And then if they're brave...
F: "I think you have something on your nose."
D: "It's just part of my face. It's a freckle." (You gotta problem with that??!)
I think I'll just stop them while they're ahead, take a deep breath, and say, "HiI'mDianenotDianastudyingSociologyalthoughIdon'tknowwhatI'mgoingto dowithitandI'mfromOremandit'safreckle. You?"
Basically I just get tired of being asked the same questions over and over again. And then, because I'm such a hippo-cryte, I usually hear myself saying "What's your major?".
Please comment, sharing creative questions and topics of conversation. There will be a prize for the best one(s)!
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21 comments:
There's always the lame superhero power question...but Suzie will claim that one.
How about, "Are you single? Do you want to change that?" or "Do you know a perfect guy who's single, and will you set me up?" I mean, let's get straight to the point here, right?! :)
Whoa, lest any readers think I was degrading Suzie's question, let me clarify: the question is "If you could pick a lame superhero power, what would it be?" :)
I've always enjoyed the "what color is your toothbrush" or similar questions...a real question to get to know the person, but one that always catches them off guard.
what about, "which of the following occupations would you choose (assuming that you had to choose one of the following), maid for a rich family/nanny for their spoiled brat or worker on a lobster boat?" that kind of question always brings out the "real" them.
If the "lame superhero power" question doesn't get things rolling, here's another option (which, might I add, was inspired by the "hunkiest hunk in hunkville"): "If you could commit one 'free' felony, what would it be?"
And lobster ship, all the way.
Before there was Facebook, my roommates and I threatened to walk around with sandwich boards giving basic information to common questions we were asked. Mine was to include: "No, I'm not Russian." :)
Making real conversation is an art in every sense of the word.
I am so crappy at this it's painful.
How about "Who the heck are you and why should I bother taking you out again?"
When asking about majors, I tend to ask why they decided on that major. Interesting conversation sometimes ensues. As a matter of fact, "Why?", "Why did you think that?", "Why did you decide that?" and "What do you think about such-and-such?" are favorites of mine. For example, we could have a conversation like this sometime:
J: "Where are you from, Diane [notice correct pronunciation and spelling of your name]?"
D: "Orem."
J: "Oh, that's interesting. Except that I already knew that. Okay, why are you from Orem?"
D: "Well, you see, my family sort of... lives there."
J: "Oh, so why did you decide for your family to live there?"
D: "Actually, it was my parents who made the decision."
J: "So why did your parents think they should make the decision to live in Orem?"
D: "I don't know, why don't you ask them?"
J: "Are you inviting me over to dinner at your parents' place?"
D: "Yes, I think I am, strangely enough. Weird!"
J: "So, what are your thoughts on... eating... meals... and stuff?"
D: "Umm... I think I just remembered a paper I need to work on tonight. Well, gotta go!"
Actually, didn't we have that conversation once? I don't know, memory's fuzzy, but seems possible ;-)
At least you don't get "Are you related to. . ." every time. ;D
Yeah, I hear you on that one, Fredjikrang, and my name isn't even spelled like Elder Packer's.
I like to ask the question, "In a relationship, what is a deal breaker to you?" That reveals all kinds of stuff about a person.
Looks like you already have plenty of options, but if I were to share with you my ideas for creative conversations it would probably go something like this...
*Your eyes meet a stranger's as they walk toward you.
*You grab them by the shoulders, keeping yourself an arm's length away from them, and look into their eyes while making some sort of face (distress, pain, happiness, exhilaration, or a simple eye-cross).
*You then hug them, very tightly, for 26.5 seconds.
*Return to the arm-length position.
*Wipe all emotion from your face (this is also known as a "dead-pan" expression).
*Walk away, and don't look back. Be sure to keep your head tilted at a very slight angle.
At times like these, no one needs words.
Janae, I actually did have a stranger hug me tightly for what must have been ten seconds or so. I'm not sure if I've ever felt less comfortable.
Some of my favorites: (Diana, uh, Dianey, Diane, you already know some of these :))
What's your favorite ripeness of bananas?
What is your favorite house you've ever lived in?
What's your favorite constellation?
If you were a garbage truck driver, would you drive in the cab or on the back?
What's your favorite gospel principle starting with the letter "D"?
Just a few suggestions.
p.s. I hope I win!!!
Sorry I didn't mean for my comment to sound negative towards your idea, Janae. It's funny to look back on, but man was that awkward.
My question requires explanation. On my mission there was a pregnant woman whose son was born on a train. As a gift SNCF, the national train company, gave the boy a lifetime of free train rides. So, the question...
If you could have chosen where to be born to receive a lifetime of free services/gifts where would it be?
Ha ha! No worries, Keith! I didn't think it was negative at all, just awkwardly hilarious! :) I never thought that anyone would seriously do that, that's why I wrote it.
I was so confused when I was mentioned in your more recent post as not having responded. Then I realized that I had somehow missed the challenge for original topics of conversation. I still don't have anything life changing to offer but I didn't want to be seen as a slacker, so here are a few that my roommates and I have used:
If you could do anything for a living, regardless of money/schooling, what would it be? (My favorite response was a guy who said he'd be a cereal packager.)
What's your favorite breakfast food and when do you like to eat it?
What song is stuck in your head right now?
If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What is your favorite talent?
How much time do you spend on the Internet, daily? (And what do you do?)
There, like I said, not super creative, but they're generally good conversation starters. :D
Sorry Diane, but I had a few more questions come to my head.....
If your life(day/semester/etc) had a theme song what would it be and why?
What questions do you usually ask someone to start a conversation?
If you and your roommates had to fill in for a cast of characters on a television show or movie (ex. The Simpsons; Lord of the Rings; Saved by the Bell; Hairspray; etc) who would fill in for which character and why?
Which temples have you seen/visited in person?
Which episode of Star Wars most correctly describes your personality and why? (I suppose you could also do this with Rocky and the Land Before Time series.)
What is your favorite scripture?
Is there a musical artist that you like to listen to but are hesitant to share with your family/friends for whatever reason?
Paper or plastic?
Cash or credit?
How are you doing? What are your life goals/dreams?
If I told you your body was beautiful would you hold it against me?
When taking a test at the testing center have you ever seen the employee Paul? What do you think of him?
That's it for now. I hope I didn't surpass the question limit.
PS. I hope Mary wins second place!!!
That blog post was amazing, and Josh's comment was equally hilarious. I don't have any nuggets of inspiration as far as first conversations go, but I'll share a typical example of a first conversation between me and a BYU attending male, if it helps you to know you are not alone in first conversation awkwardness.
Let "S" be me and "F" be the other person.
F: What's your name?
S: Sarah
F: What are you studying?
S: Well, I'm not in school, but I used to study public administration. What do you study?
F: Used to study? (Clearly wondering if I had dropped out and gone to beauty school because I couldn't hack it).
S: Yeah, I graduated. What do you study?
F: Oh... what year did you graduate?
S: 2006 the first time, 2008 the second time. What do you study?
F: You graduated high school in 2006?
S: No, I got my undergrad in 2006. What do you study?
F: You have a masters?
S: Yes, what do you study?
F: Did you come to college early?
S: Nope, I was 18 when I came. What do you study?
F: (Said overly nonchalantly as if I don't know what they are trying to do). Oh... what year did you first come to college?
S: 2001.
F: (Pause to calculate age). Ohhh... well, I should go. I have something to do somewhere.
or... I thought you were much younger!
or... Shouldn't you be married by now?
Okay, slight exaggeration, but similar events are not uncommon. It is even funnier if they somehow discover I went on a mission. "You went on a mission, too?" By that time they are usually bold enough to say, "How old are you?"
Another typical conversation.
F: Where are you from?
S: Iowa.
F: (Stunned silence, as s/he was in no way prepared for that answer).
Oh.
(All further conversation killed).
or...
F: Where are you from?
S: Iowa.
F: I've been through there on my way to... (insert some clearly more exciting place). It was flat.
Well, that's it! We'll have to collaborate on how to fix these problems in the future.
One of my friends always says "But enough about me. Let's talk about you. So . . . what do YOU think about me?"
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