Every culture has them. There's a "correct way" of behaving, appropriate things to say, and viewpoints to have. There are also behaviors and ways of thinking that are taboo with certain groups within each culture, and some things that are generally accepted by almost everyone as just wrong. Like Hitler and Cannibalism (I guess besides the Nazis and the cannibals :D). A person's "normality" (whatever that means) is judged on their ability to understand the social norms and follow them in a way that keeps everyone comfortable.
The tone of voice in which you say something could be potentially dangerous. Sometimes I feel like I'm misunderstood... like I sincerely meant what I said, but people assume I'm sarcastic or have hidden implied meaning, and they react in a negative way. With some, I feel like I have to start my sentences with "It's my opinion" or "It seems to me" and end with "That's not what I meant" or "Sorry." I hate having to be so careful.
I assume that people will be understanding and allow me to discuss things with them in an open way, where I feel comfortable and not attacked. And there are some people that I feel totally comfortable exploring ideas and forming opinions with. But there are also people who make me feel like I'm always wrong, or just make me timid to say what I really want to say. I greatly appreciate someone who is open minded enough to discuss things with me, and to create an atmosphere where we can try to understand each other. That's one of my favorite things.
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4 comments:
That is frustrating to feel like you're tiptoeing on eggshells. I don't think you make any unfair assumptions when you talk to others, and that's why everyone feels comfortable talking to you, including me!
I agree with Robyn, but I also understand where you're coming from. Some people just don't understand your particular tone and so they turn what you meant to be a joke into a nighmare! And I think that you should come over sometime and chat with me. (Or vice versa :))
Dianey, I feel you with the people who intimidate me and don't allow me to feel safe when I'm giving my thoughts.
Robyn's right. You're wonderful to talk to because you don't put words in other's mouths and you don't try to out-talk them. In that hoity-toity way. I love you! :)
I love your ever-growing list of "favorite things." It's a great insight into the deeper side of the Dianey I know and love.
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