tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465907146235838189.post3020668645618491255..comments2023-07-18T00:28:39.021-07:00Comments on Behind Dianey Face's Face: And a newly revised essay:Dianey Facehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15156832687261804004noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465907146235838189.post-64491891025180561502011-01-20T13:13:16.101-08:002011-01-20T13:13:16.101-08:00Very well done, Diane. You have a natural talent f...Very well done, Diane. You have a natural talent for writing that I can only envy.<br /><br />If you're asking for feedback, I would probably lose the ellipses in the title and check your spelling on "smithereens." The "(“rocket” and otherwise)" quip was probably a little gratuitous, too.<br /><br />I agree that in general it still needs something which I can't quite put my finger on, but you might think about it in terms of payoff. Your readers have invested themselves in this journey you have taken them on, and the best writers have figured out how to give them a little gift at the end. Your gift is a little bit of cleverness---maybe helping us think about our assumptions differently, but it could be so much more potent if you could leave us with the gift of understanding. It sounds hackneyed, but what does this journey tell us about the human condition or love or loss or anything we might connect to?<br /><br />One of the worst things a writer can be accused of is self-indulgence, and you certainly couldn't be accused of that. The difference between the self-indulgent writer and the great one, though, is an understanding of the possibility of the gift.<br /><br />All my love and respect, JJason Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08953744737308895124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465907146235838189.post-52780356496741094082011-01-19T18:06:03.123-08:002011-01-19T18:06:03.123-08:00Cute. The end is my favorite.Cute. The end is my favorite.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com